Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential

Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again

Mr.bean said to his GirlFriend"I luv u"& fell down. Again Told"I luv u"&fell down.Girl: y u r doing like this? Mr.bean: I am falling in love

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Boy- From the day I m ur friend, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke.Girl- how sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..!Boy- SHUT UP..!!, U made my pocket empty.

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything

School girl : I dont want to take SEX EDUCATION class Teacher : Why not? School girl : Someone told me FINAL EXAM would be oral!

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!