Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

Devdas’s matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar! But gal’s father shoul have his own Bar.

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips? Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun Lady : here take it Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

What is the next thing a Man should do after winning an argument wit his Wife ?...........Apologise

Elephant &Ant were walking on a bridgeThen D elephant lookd down 2the river Sudenly ant Bited D elephant.Why?Bcoz ants wife was bathing in D river.

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??