T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

College Joke of the year:Lecture"Ur head is full of cow dung.."Student: "Oh, that's why, u eat my head everyday."-

Q: If a Devil catches your wife, what will you do? A: You can do nothing...if the devil has done the MISTAKE, he has to face the CONSEQUENCES!!

What is the next thing a Man should do after winning an argument wit his Wife ?...........Apologise

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.