Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

An American couple had a black baby,The husband did not believe that it was his baby.H-Why is the baby black?Wife-U Hot,i Hot,Baby burnt.

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.

Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"

A heart Melting luv story.Girl:I Cant Marry U, my family members refused.Boy: Who r dey 2 Stop Our luv?Girl: "My husbnd & 3 CHILDREN"!

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”