Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Wife was teaching English Grammar to her husband. Wife- 'I am Beautiful.' Which tense is this? Husband- Past Tense.-

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Husband says"When Im gone you'll nevr find another man like me". Wife replied"What makes you think I'd want another man like you?!!!".

A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

D bos came early in d morng one day n found his manager kissing his secratry. He shouted at him,"is dis what i pay 4 u"? D manager rplid- no sir dis i do free

Principal 2 students:U people must sleep atleast 7 hours a day.Students:Impossible sir!College is only for 6 hours!

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.