Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!
After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss." "Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."
A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"…