Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

Try this ,its fun Go to msg Select New msg activate T9 (or dictionary as in your mobile) & type these keys... 4#260#2#3665#42#42#42# try now and do re....

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”. PAPPU : I is… TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.” PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”