Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down

An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them. Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It's raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don't give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"…

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

Author: "I'm convinced that the publishers have a conspiracy against me." Friend: "What makes you think so?" Author: "Ten of them have refused the same story."

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.