Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential

Sir:B quiet boys!I hav a bad headache Sdent:Why dont u do wot mum Does whn she has a headache?Sir:Whats tht?Sdent:She sends us out to paly

Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!