Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Lady1:"What do u think bout husbands?" Lady2:"They r like OWLS..!" Lady1:"How?"Lady2:"They see good things in their wives only in the night.

Physics teachr saw boy slepin Askd "Telme da unit f power" Boy woke up n said-"What sir?" Teachr exclaimd"Ok Gud Sit Down!" What=WATT!

santa was looking very sad."Wats d matter,Srdarji?" "I lent Rs. 5Lac to a friend for plastic surgery. Now I dnt know how he looks.."

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.