Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

somu:mobile bill kitna hai? Callcentre gal:just dial 123 to knw ur current bill status. somu:abe Stupid current ka nahi mobile ka.

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

What is the next thing a Man should do after winning an argument wit his Wife ?...........Apologise

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

There are Three Scientist Come together to Make AeroPlain 1 from U.S.A. 2 from Japan & 3 from India. The American Scientist arranged for Necessary Raw Materials Then Japanis Scientis Assembeled the Plain At Last Indian Scientis paint on the plain i.e Made in India

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.