A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

when u kiss an american girl she says kiss me hard,when u kiss a british girl she say kiss me slow,but when u kiss an indian girl she says kisay nu na dasi

Wife going to Wife returns. Husband:-where is my gift? Wife:-wait 4 9months. London. Wife:-Do u want anything from England? Husband:-ya... English girl.

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

D bos came early in d morng one day n found his manager kissing his secratry. He shouted at him,"is dis what i pay 4 u"? D manager rplid- no sir dis i do free

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife