Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27 She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

Driver:is der no tree on dis road?Passengr:Sir,u r so great,I lik ur social mind.Drivr:Stupid,bus's brake has failed

Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil: Moon... Teacher : Why? Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

DAD TO SON: When i beat u how do u controll ur anger. son: I START CLEANING TOILET DAD: how does that satisfies u? SON:i clean with ur tooth brush

LAST NIGHT SHE CAME TO MY BED,LAYED ON MY BODY,TOOK LIQUID FROM MY BODY AND GOT SATISFACTION .SHE WAS A MOSQUITO