Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

Mr A: my wife kisses me every night when I get home. Mr B: mine too, but only 2 c if I have been drinking.

Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them.