A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven

He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun Lady : here take it Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Boy: Y did Gandhiji have no hair on his head? TeacheIts sign of inteligence Boy: Now i undrstand y girls have so long hair!...

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"