I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
