1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here.

Wife looks in mirror & says:"I Look HORRIBLE, FAT & UGLY! Say somethng nice to me dear!"Husband:"UR EYESIGHT IS PERFECT"

Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof. Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

Y word 'Women' begin with a 'W' ?Bcoz all major Questions begin with 'W'.What ?Why?Where?When?Who?Whom?With Whom?Which??

The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

Tip to reduce alcohal consumption :"Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!"

A man in US kicks a dog to death which was abt to bite a lady.Paper reports:US citizen saves lady frm dog.Man says I'm not U.S citizen.So reprt changd,foreign hero saves lady frm dogMan says he is frm Pak Nxt days headlines:Terorist attacks local dog.

Jab koi baat bigad jayeJab koi mushkil pad jayeJab aasu bhare aakho meDukh ka sagar Umad AayeTum Sirf itna he kehana..........A GANPAT, CHAL DARU LA..

Think well, Plan well, Do well, Sleep well, Play well, Laugh well and Put ur mobile also into well, Bcoz ur not Messaging me Well

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money. Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in usa, can u cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?