I Know Alcohol's bad..But I take alcohol only on days startin wit "T" tuesday&thursday& today,tomorrow, taturday, tunday&every tingle day!

Wife hints 2 husband 4 a new car & say,"Dear, buy me somethng that goes 0 to 80 in 3 secs when i'm on it."Husband gifted her a Weighing Machine..

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u - it"s really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp .... I"m playing cards and we"ve misplaced the JOKER."""

Taj Mahal kya cheez hai, isse badi imaarat banaunga. Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thee, tujhe to main zinda dafnaunga!!!

A student asked 2 write a signboard 4 d traffic rules near college campushe wrote;"Drive carefully! Don't kill students, wait for teachers"

What a MARRIED man says after years of marriage,My marriage is made of TRUST and UNDERSTANDING,She dose'nt TRUST me and I don't UNDERSTAND her....

A man in US kicks a dog to death which was abt to bite a lady.Paper reports:US citizen saves lady frm dog.Man says I'm not U.S citizen.So reprt changd,foreign hero saves lady frm dogMan says he is frm Pak Nxt days headlines:Terorist attacks local dog.

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

How do you express two words,with exactly the opposite meanings,in a single sentence...?Any guesses?No?Say:"HAPPILY MARRIED"

************** Give one english word for...... apne kiye pe pani pher dena ..............? ..........? ......? "I I_____FLUSH -() - )____( *************"

i want 2 be wid u in a nice restaraunt in acandle light dinner and say the beautiful 3 words 'pay the bill'

Pehle Dedar... Phir Yaar... Phir Ikraar... Phir Pyaar... Phir Intezar... Phir Takrar... Uske baad Sari Mehnat Bekar... At Last aur Ek Devdas in the Beear Bar.