1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here.

Wife looks in mirror & says:"I Look HORRIBLE, FAT & UGLY! Say somethng nice to me dear!"Husband:"UR EYESIGHT IS PERFECT"

There are 8 ways to describe you... nice, friendly, so cute, loving, very sweet, funny, charming , thoughtful. In short, you're just like.... me !

Flirting is the only job in the world that a man cannot include in his biodata despite having years of experience and number of references

Think well, Plan well, Do well, Sleep well, Play well, Laugh well and Put ur mobile also into well, Bcoz ur not Messaging me Well

Shhhh. Dont go outside. Even dont talk loudly for the next one hour, please I am again warning you please and dont be so loud .. The dog catching van is on duty!!!

Ek pal me kabhi ye duniya simat jati hai to kabhi bikhar jati hai. ek pal me jindgi chal pdti hai to kabhi tham jati hai. ek pal me hansati hai to kabhi rulati hai aur kabhi to ek pal me zindgi ke sare mayane samjha jati hai.

Chinto aur Banto Zidd kar rahe the k Mokeyi dekhna hai, Mai ne Tumhare Ghar ka address bata dia hai Wo agar aayein to 2,3 JUMP maar dena Bache hain Khush ho jainge.

In a park two lovers eating chips by lookin into each other eyes. Girl: dear wht r u thinking at this moment? Boy:I think u r eating more chips than me.

Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.

Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.Sir:Wo Kaise?Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di!

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once