I Know Alcohol's bad..But I take alcohol only on days startin wit "T" tuesday&thursday& today,tomorrow, taturday, tunday&every tingle day!

Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.

Darde dil me gam ki kaliya khilti hai, aab to tanhai aaksar hamse milti hai, aapne band kiya jabse SMS karna, MOBILE ki battery jyada chalti hai!

WHY INDIA IS IN TROUBLE...POPULATION :100 CR. RETIRED =9 CR. CENTRAL GOVT=17CR. STATE GOVT=30 CR(BOTH DONT WORK).I.T. Professional =1 cr. (dont work for india).In school = 25 cr.under 5 yr.age= 1 cr. Unemployed= 15 cr.In hospital= 1.2 cr.Statics u find 7999998 person any time in jail.Then balance 2 r U me . U R BUSY IN PHILOSOPICAL THINKING. How can I handle INDIA ALONE?

AYZAZYPZYKYZA TYZIZYMZYE BYZAZYRZYBZYAZYAZYD KZYAZYRZY NZYA TZYHZYA KYZAYZR DZYIYYA. ONLY Y AND Z KO ERASE KARO AUR PADHO. ITS INTERESTING.THANK U.

Log kehte h ki khuda ne aapko badi fursat me banaya h,Theek hi kehte h "FALTOO" kaam fursat me hi to kiye jate h.

Girl To Her Boy Friend:Darling, Do You Know Handsome N Smart Boys Always Get Stupid Girl Friends.Boy: Thanks For The Compliment, Darling

Clouds r white but the sky is blue, monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry u’ll find me there too, not in the cage but laughing at u.

Defination of a NURSE-> A young and beautiful woman who fingers u in all places n holds ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be normal

Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 "world peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said "Let me try world peace"

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. “I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die.”

Do you know which is the oldest animal in the world??Give up??Well its,Zebra - Coz its still Black and White n not in Color!