I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

Biology teacher-There are 3 types of sexually transmitted diseases..And.."YOU'LL GET AT-LEAST ONE OF THEM IN EXAM!!"

rat 2 baje kisi ne bajai bel rat 2 baje kisi ne bajai bel mene gate khola to watchman bola all is well

Wife hints 2 husband 4 a new car & say,"Dear, buy me somethng that goes 0 to 80 in 3 secs when i'm on it."Husband gifted her a Weighing Machine..

He said.Do u love me just because my father left me a fortune?She said.Not at all honey, I would love u no matter who left u the money.

A kid went 2school 4the first time.Teacher told her ifu had 2 go 2 Toilet,raise ur index finger.Kid is puzzled n asks,Thats going 2 stop it?

If u r married or if u hav a lover plz ignore the ing message..Others scroll down ADVANCE HAPPY INDEPENDANCE DAY..........!!

when u feel lonely and alone and could not see any one around you………..; The word seems to be fading away.. ……come along with me..i will take u to an eye Specialist

A depressed person got connected 2 a call center in Pakistan.He said he was on the verge of suicide.They got excited and askd...Can u fly a plane...?!--

A man in US kicks a dog to death which was abt to bite a lady.Paper reports:US citizen saves lady frm dog.Man says I'm not U.S citizen.So reprt changd,foreign hero saves lady frm dogMan says he is frm Pak Nxt days headlines:Terorist attacks local dog.

Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.

To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expressions and many more mental qualities... Hats off to u bcoz u manage 2 live without them !!!