I am a killer

I am a killer
I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing
  

Jan, 13 2012     96 chars (1 sms)     1619 views       Funny

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An optimist is a guy who thinks his wife doesn’t understand him.
In India, parents say "Study well my son, Otherwise u wont get a job."In america-"Study wel my son,othrwise any "INDIAN" wil grab ur JOB"
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Ur very specil for me, i'm very concerned abt ur safety . But i can't be with u always . So please , take care me yourself when u Jump from 1 Tree 2 another!
Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai. Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?". Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".
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What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.
Door rehkar bhi dil ke paas lagte ho, nazron se door rehkar khaas lagte ho, har baar doosron ka bheja SMS bhejkar khud ko smart samajhte ho!!!
be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top
teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha
We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. “I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die.”
2 ways to suicide.1) QUICK DEATH:Take a BIG rope,tie it around ur neck & hang urself.2) SLOW DEATH:Take a SMALL rope, tie it on a girl's neck to marry...!