Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 "world peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said "Let me try world peace"
I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."