U cAn control ur breAth bt not deAth,u cAn control ur Life bt not ur Wife,u can control ur Emotion bt not ur"Loose Motion"

Wife looks in mirror & says:"I Look HORRIBLE, FAT & UGLY! Say somethng nice to me dear!"Husband:"UR EYESIGHT IS PERFECT"

WHY INDIA IS IN TROUBLE...POPULATION :100 CR. RETIRED =9 CR. CENTRAL GOVT=17CR. STATE GOVT=30 CR(BOTH DONT WORK).I.T. Professional =1 cr. (dont work for india).In school = 25 cr.under 5 yr.age= 1 cr. Unemployed= 15 cr.In hospital= 1.2 cr.Statics u find 7999998 person any time in jail.Then balance 2 r U me . U R BUSY IN PHILOSOPICAL THINKING. How can I handle INDIA ALONE?

Ab tak meri life ek khuli bottle thi, Jisme se sab perfume ki tarha udd jata tha. Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko mile!!!

Ye pyar b ajeeb cheez hai.Maa se ho to mamta.papa se ho to kartavya.Bhai se ho to dharm.Behen se ho to farz.Aur biwi se ho to...Sonumonuchotupappu

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'... said, 'Dust!'

A Fantastic ad in the paper "Come Via_Agra"... and see man's greatest erection for a woman.... . . "The Taj Mahal"...!

Old people used to annoy me at weddings, pinching my cheeks saying you are next. They stopped that when I started doing the same to them at Funerals!!!

In 1975,3 birds wer flyin n suddenly they died.Y?....Coz neeche gabbar singh bolta hai..Aadmi 3 aur goli 6,bahot nainsafi hai dishkyu-dishkyu-dishkyu

Zindgi kitni pyari hogi…?JabAap honge Hum Honge aur Hamare chhote-chhote pyare-pyare khubsurat se Shararti se"SMS HONGE"..

TeachIf U hv 12 Chocolates & u giv 5 to SONAL, 4 to NEHA & 3 to TINA den wat wil U hv Now? SAHIL: 3 New Galfrndz!

To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expressions and many more mental qualities... Hats off to u bcoz u manage 2 live without them !!!