Undernormal conditions, most people tend to see what they want to see, hear what theywant to hear, and do what they want to do; in conflicts, their positionsbecome even more rigid and fixed.
It ishard to change our point of view in a conflict. Most often, it is because weare not nearly as interested in resolving the conflict and possibly creatinga new ‘pearl’ as we are in being right.
To startblindly with a statement is a sign of arrogance and narrow-mindedness, andwill lead to conflict. To start blindly with a question is a sign ofuncertainty and honesty, and will lead to wisdom.
The mostintense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calmthat is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and theirconflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.
