I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

American:Oh God give me room full of Gold.Russian:oh God!give me room full of Diamonds.India:Oh God!give me keys of both d rooms.

Tip to reduce alcohal consumption :"Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!"

Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I want to see you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it"s simply because............mental patient needs more care.....Ha!Ha!Ha!......."

A man in US kicks a dog to death which was abt to bite a lady.Paper reports:US citizen saves lady frm dog.Man says I'm not U.S citizen.So reprt changd,foreign hero saves lady frm dogMan says he is frm Pak Nxt days headlines:Terorist attacks local dog.

Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Mujhe SMS Na Karke Zalim tu Kitne Paise BaChAyEgA.

What men want? A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & a system to make sure that those women never meet each other.

Lalu k pichhe ek chhota sa kutta pad gaya..!!Lalu bola..!! Sala hum to BSNL ka card dalaya hu..Ye sala HUTCH ka Network kaise pakad lia.

so Sweet is ur SMILE???so Sweet is ur STYLE???so Sweet is ur VOICE???so Sweet is ur EYE?????see…how Sweetly I LIE

Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Tere dar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge. Ghanti bajayenge aur bhag jayenge.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which anser the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

wen i go wrong , need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, need ur hand 2 catch, wen i win, need ur hand 2 pat. in short “YA HATH MUJHE DE DE THAKUR