When things go wrong When sadness fills your heart When tears flow in your eyes Always remember 3 things 1) I am with you 2) You have money 3) Bar is open, Lets go.

There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."

Jara sambhal ke chalna,jyada bhari cheez nahi uthana,apna khayal rakhna, khana thik se khana, kyunki 9wa mahina shuru Ho gaya hai. Happy September.

Kabhi Kehta Tha Dost Hamara Ek Jaan Bhi Maango To Hazir Hai Aaj Apni GF Ko Jaan Kehta Hai, Aur Maango To Inkaar Karta Hai

Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!

Whats the most confusing day in america?...Thinking?.....Still thinking? .......Fathers day!

Why do men spend so much time on improvng their STYLES & not their MIND?Bcoz they know that Women are STUPID but not BLIND!

All married men say after yrs of marriage that,My marriage is made of trust & understanding.She doesn't trust me & I dont understand her

Most peoplehave 5 senses.Some peoplehave 6 senses.But u r blessedwith 7 senses.An extra senseisNON SENSE

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here.

Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Kya Lekar aaya tha. Kya Lekar Jayega. Mujhe SMS Na Karke Zalim tu Kitne Paise BaChAyEgA.