No onecan persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that canonly be opened from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either byargument or emotional appeal.
Undernormal conditions, most people tend to see what they want to see, hear what theywant to hear, and do what they want to do; in conflicts, their positionsbecome even more rigid and fixed.
People whoare too concerned with how well they are doing will be less successful andfeel less competent than those who focus on the task itself... Somepsychologists call it a conflict between egoorientation, or between extrinsicand intrinsic motivation...