A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"
santa took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Santa: I have swallowed a key. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.