Santa:What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. Engineer:How would we know they were late,if we didn't have a schedule?

Sardar on April 1st: maine pani ko ullu bana diya aaj. Frnd: pani ko, wo kaise? Srdr:Oye!maine pani garam kiya aur thande pani se naha liya.

Banta: Kya Hua,Ye Mitti Kyun Khod Raha Hai? Santa: Papa ji Ne Bola Mene Unka Nam Mitti Me Mila Diya, Wohi Dund Raha Hu

Mam: Achha Insan Wo Hi He Jo Dusro K Kaam AayeSanta: Par Mam Exam Me Na Aap Humare Kaam Aati Hai Aur Na Hi Kisi Aur Ko Aane Deti Hai

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him: "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai". Sardarji replies: "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,

Santa was driving car zigzag on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him. Santa: Sir, I am learning the car. Inspector: without instructor ? Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.

Once a Sardar was walking & had a glove on 1 hand & not on other so a man asked him why did he do so. He Replied dat d weather forecast announced dat on 1 hand it wud be cold & on d other hand it would be hot.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well. santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Man: I got a brand new Ford IKON 4 my wife!Santa: Wow! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start? Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.