santa took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )
Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money. Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
Once a Sardar was walking & had a glove on 1 hand & not on other so a man asked him why did he do so. He Replied dat d weather forecast announced dat on 1 hand it wud be cold & on d other hand it would be hot.
Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho? Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".