First-aid teacher: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places? Lil Banta: I'd never go to either place again!

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

Jeeto: If I die what'll you do? Santa: I may also die. Jeeto: Why? Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.

Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth. A: Because Doctor has advised him: ‘Aaj Light Khana hai!’

History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker. Santa: Adidas

Banta:Where was the Decleration of Independence signed? Santa Singh:at the bottom.

Wife-bathroom k parde lagwa do.Naya padosi dekhne ki koshish karta hai. Sardar-ek bar dekh lene do,Fir vo khud apne room me parde laga lega.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this? Shopkeeper: Rs 500 Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.

3 sardars were going on a bike. Traffic Police raises the hand to stop them. Sardar replies- "Oye pagal ho gaya kya? Pehle hi 3 baithe hai, Tu kaha baithega.."

Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb. Santa asked him: What are you doing? Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

Banta was traveling in an auto with his wife.The driver adjusted the mirror. Banta shouted:U r trying to see my wife, sit back i drive