Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Santa : People consider me as "God"Banta : How do you know??Santa : When I went to the park today,everybody said, Oh God! Uve come again.

Banta: Y did you buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day? I thought she wanted a car. Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car?

Ek dost ne santa se poocha "yaar tu hamesha foreign channel kyondekhta rehta."....Santa "yaar kuch bijli unki bhi kharch hone do."

Santa call's wife-ghar nahi aa sakata.gadi k stearing,breaks sub chori ho gaye hai.5 min later.Aa raha hu.Galti se piche baith gaya tha!

1st sardar:yaar tum nay apni biwi ko talaq kyon di?2nd sardar:yaar woh bari character less thi shaadi mujh say aur bacha bhagwan say mangti thi.

'Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise bulding. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.' 'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. D'I am not your son.' I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.

A Sardar puts lot of lipstick on his forehead..........Why?.....coz....he wants to make up his Mind

1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola"muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna

Sardar was riding a helicopter.Aftr sumtime it crashd! Frnd: What happnd? SardIt was cold at the top so I switchd off d helicopter fan."

Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long...!

Santa: I have swallowed a key. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.