Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Santa Singh hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of his index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked him. 'well, I was trying to commit suicide,' Santa replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?' 'No! No! No! I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job." Banta: "Did you?" Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."

Santa har sunday holi khelta tha1 admi ne pucha santa ji aap har sunday holi Q khelte ho ?santa :- OYE, SUNDAY MATLAB HOLI-DAY..

How do you convert a BUS into a female ?? SANTCome late to the bus stop..BUS MISS ho Jaayegi.

At the scene of accident a Man was crying "Oh god i hv lost my hand!". Santa: Please Dont cry! look at that man he has lost his head is he crying?

Santa to his wife:coffee jaldi piyo. Wife:but why? Santa:B'COZ hot coffeeis Rs.5 and cold coffee is Rs.20.

Santa banta were in conversation on the beach : Santa :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ? banta : Tumhe nahe pata ? Santa : Nahe pata. banta : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .

santa opens his lunch box in the middle of the road… why? Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from office.

sardar ji ne apni biwi ko apne dost ke sath dekhaor apnay dost ko goli maar disardar ki biwi boli:-agar aap ka yehi behaiviour raha to 1 dinaap saray dost kho betho gay-

Santa in Bio practical exam.Prof: Tell d birds name by seeing its leg.Snta: I don't know.Prof: U faild. Wat's ur name?Snta: C my Leg & TELL...!: