Santa:What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. Engineer:How would we know they were late,if we didn't have a schedule?

Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho? Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".

Santa goes to hotel & orders fried fish. Waiter : Sir, French or Spanish?? Santa : Jo marji hai le aa, Maine kaunsi baatein karni hai

Santa's wish: When I die, I wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep? Not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

Santa to Banta:10 years AGO when I used to return HOME, my DOG used to GREET of by BARKING & WIFE by KISSING.now they have REVERSED their ROLES.

Wife-bathroom k parde lagwa do.Naya padosi dekhne ki koshish karta hai. Sardar-ek bar dekh lene do,Fir vo khud apne room me parde laga lega.

Santa: I have to learn Telugu within 6 months or I'll not be able to communicate with my child. Banta: Is it ! Why ? Santa: I have adopted a telugu child and he will start to speak after 6 months

Santa, where's your homework?" the teacher said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Santa, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?" "It's true, Miss, I swear," insisted the boy. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"

What do smart Santa and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them.

Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start? Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

Girlfriend-Tum to bas apne kam me lage rehte ho..Meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai tumhe! santa -Oye,Pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi karte!

Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega? Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai