Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please! Saint: I don't have. TT: Where do you want to go? Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya! TT: Come, lets go! Saint: Where? TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.

Santa Singh and wife came upon a wishing well. Santa Singh leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. Santa Singh was stunned for awhile but then smiled and said, 'It really works!'

Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20 male se gir gaya tha. Banta: to fir bach gaya ya mar gaya? Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.

SANTA sukhe khet mein boat chala raha tha BANTA-aise SARDARO ne hi SARDARO ka naam kharab kiya hai,agar mujhe swimming aati to jakar use bahut marta

Santa khali kadahi me chammach chala raha tha to Banta ne poocha kya bana rahe ho ? Santa- BEWAKOOF bana raha hoon..

Santa :- jaldi ek cold drink de, ladai hone wali hai.. Shop Keeper :- lo ! Shopkeeper :- jaldi ek or de, ladai hone wali hai... Shopkeeper :- lekin ladai kab hogi... Shopkeeper :-jab tu paise maangega tab

santa: Are light chali gayi hai to kam se kam fan to chalu karo sardarni: lo kar di na sardaro vali baat fan chalu karoogi to candle nahi bujh Jayegi

Santa to his wife:coffee jaldi piyo. Wife:but why? Santa:B'COZ hot coffeeis Rs.5 and cold coffee is Rs.20.

Santa:What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. Engineer:How would we know they were late,if we didn't have a schedule?

santa took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )