Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Santa Singh hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of his index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked him. 'well, I was trying to commit suicide,' Santa replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?' 'No! No! No! I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function. Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

TT: ticket dikhao? SANTA: lo dekho. TT: ye to purani hai. SANTA: to train kaun c nayi hai?.

santa to banta maine aisi chiz ki khoj ki he jis se tu deewar k aarpar dekh sakta he,banta ne puchha kon c chiz?Santa bola: Khidki.

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

1Srdar-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai 2srdar:kaise? 1 srdar:Mene"I Luv U"kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai.

On a comedy show SaNTA was asked some question. He was askedQ. What's the fullform of SMS.S-:Sardar Manmohan Singh.Q. What's MMSS-Mrs. Manmohan Singh.

Santa: Cheel ko English me Kya Kehte Hai?Banta: Eagle.Santa: Agar cheel bimar ho jaye to?Banpat: Illeagal! (ill-eagle)

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

santa orders pizza. Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces? santa: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

Santa saw a man stealing a purse. THIEF:"There is Rs.1100 in the purse. V can take 50-50" Santa : Okay,bt Wht bout d remaining 1000?