Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered'

Banta to a Doctor : I have diarrhoea & it wont go away. Doctor: Did you try using a lemon? Banta: Yes I did. When I remove it, it starts again.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo. Pappu: Who's Banta? Santa: Pata nai. Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Santa and Banta are waiting at a bus stop, when a bus pulls up and opens the door. Banta leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to Chandigarh?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm Sorry." At this Santa leans inside, smiles and twitters, "Will it take ME?"

Santa:Dr.Sahab 2 Sal Pehle Muje Bukhar Aya Tha,Dr:To Ab Kya Hua.Santa:Nahane ko Mana Kiya Tha Naha Lu.

A sardarji had a daily routine, going to office in bus and then returning home by it. One day he got late for the bus to return home. He ran after the bus and reached home running and huffing. After reaching his house he told his wife that he had saved Rs.3 by running after the bus and reaching home. Instead of getting an acknowledgementhe got a huge slap from his wife. Sardarji was puzzled? He asked his wife that why did she slap him. Her reply was, 'Ig you had run after a taxi you could have saved Rs.70 instead of Rs.3!

Santa buys a new pressure cooker &next day he rtrns it.Shopkeeper:-y r u returnng it?Snta:Gharme Jawan beti he,or ye sala seeti bajata

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

Santa always study in front of a mirror because of 3 reasons:1. It helps saving revision time.2. He can keep a watch on himself.3. He likes combined studies

Santa:What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. Engineer:How would we know they were late,if we didn't have a schedule?

Santa to nurse-I luv u tumne mera dil chura liya hai,Nurse-Chal jhutha humne to sirf kidney churayi hai dil ko to hath bhi nahi lagaya…