Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Preeto: There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor. Banta: Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous. Preeto: I tell you the car has water in the carburetor. Banta: You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car? Preeto: In the pool.

Teacher : Maine tumhe kutte pe essay likhne kaha tha, Kahan likha? Sardar: Sir, kya karta jaise hi kutte pe pen rakhta tha,wo bhag jata tha..

Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar? Driver: Which part? Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

Santa Singh returned back from the cinema hall without watching the cinema.what was the name of the cinema? Ans:NO ENTRY

santa took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )

Once santa was riding his cycle suddenly he slips and fells onto the ground. A young man who was passing nearby asks the sardar "oye paaji why did u slip." santa replies "no puttar that was only a joke."

Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered'

Santa sent Rs10000 unsigned cheque to PM's Flood Relief Fund & wrote"Cheque is unsigned bcoz, I do not want any publicity..

santa ki maa: Puttar tujhe yahan se jalandhar jane me to ek din laga par wapas aane me 3 din lag gae wo bhi nai car se? santa: Maa yeh car banane wale bhi pagal hai jane ke liye to 4 gear dete hai par aane ke liye 1 hi gear dete hai.

Santa: I have to learn Telugu within 6 months or I'll not be able to communicate with my child. Banta: Is it ! Why ? Santa: I have adopted a telugu child and he will start to speak after 6 months

Sardar1- maine apni BV ko 12th pass karvaya,fir B.A fir M.A aur uski govtJob b lagva di,Ab or kya karu yar?Sardar2-acha sa ladka dekhkar shadi kar de.