Santa Singh and wife came upon a wishing well. Santa Singh leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. Santa Singh was stunned for awhile but then smiled and said, 'It really works!'
Santa Singh hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of his index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked him. 'well, I was trying to commit suicide,' Santa replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?' 'No! No! No! I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.'