Santa Singh hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of his index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked him. 'well, I was trying to commit suicide,' Santa replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?' 'No! No! No! I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

Santa: Oh god! Please make New York, the capital of Punjab! Banta: Why are you praying so? Santa: Bcz, that is what I have written in the exam

Santa : We'll soon become Rich Banta : How?Santa : Tomoro my Mathematics Teacher wil teach me how 2 convert Paise 2 Rupees.

Santa to nurse-I luv u tumne mera dil chura liya hai,Nurse-Chal jhutha humne to sirf kidney churayi hai dil ko to hath bhi nahi lagaya…

Banta: yaar tum itne bade ho gaye ho aur abi tak dadi aur mooch nahi aayi. SANTA: yaar main apni maa pe gaya hu na isliye.

Santa in mysore palace, Tourist guide sir PLz don sit there, It's Tippu sultan's chair. santa - oye don't worry yaar I will get up when he comes

SANTA enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Sardar dials a no. and a girl picks up the phone.Sardar says: kaun?Girl: main geeta,aap kaun?Sardamain guru granth sahib.

Magistrate: How dare u stole that diamond ring frm the jewellers shop.Santa: It was written in Bold letter "DON'T MISS THIS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.."

Santa-My computer going crazy Banta-Y?Wats wrong?Santa:I don't have keyboard but it still gives a keyboard error

Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Sardar ne makkhi ke pankh tod ke kaha; Udh ja. But Makkhi nahi udi, Sardar ne kaha; Saabit hua "agar makkhi ke pankh tod diye jaye to makkhi sun nahi sakti