Bhakt: Bhagwanji aap kab kush hote ho, Bhagawan:jab hindi film me vilan ladki ko pakadata hai tab ladki bolti hai please mujhe bhagawan ke liye chod do.
Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho, jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho. Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu.
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”? PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L” TEACHER : No, that’s wrong PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him 1000 Rs. Secretary: why U gave him 1000 Rs..? Malika: pehli bar kisine behan kaha.
Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai. Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho. Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha. MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya? MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.