Santa: I have swallowed a key. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

santa took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )

Ek Chor Santa Ka Mobile lekar bhag gaya ..... Santa bola bhag le bhag le, Charger to mere Pass hai!!!

santa : "I saw my Wife going 2 a movie with a strange Man." Friend : "Did u follow them inside?" "No yaar," replied santa "I had already SEEN the Movie !"

Santa to his wife:coffee jaldi piyo. Wife:but why? Santa:B'COZ hot coffeeis Rs.5 and cold coffee is Rs.20.

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that??Santa: Tipu Sultan's skeleton.Tourist: and smaller skeleton next to it?Santa: Tipu's when he was child..

In war field Sardar covering his body with a mosquito net. Soldier asked why? Sardwhen a mosqito cant entr in this net, then HOW CAN A BULLET!.

santa dies due to lighting and his dead body is found smiling. God asks Why? He replies, “Mainu laaga ke koi meri photo khich raha hai.”

Santa was driving car zigzag on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him. Santa: Sir, I am learning the car. Inspector: without instructor ? Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.

SANTA: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho? BANTA: Suicide karne ke liye SANTA: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai? BANTA: Kahin infection na ho

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators

SANTA kadhai leke bich raaste khana pakane baitha. Kadhai khali dekh k logo ne pucha “saNTAJI kya bana rahe ho?” saNTA bola, “Sabko bewakoof bana raha hoon.”