Wife:Apko pata hai mr.R apni patni ko kiss karke hi office jate hai,lekin apne kabhi ki. Husband:Chahta to mein bhi hu,lekin mr.R ki biwi nahi manegi.

Message na karke dil tod diya mera,Ab mobile dafna dena,Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena,Koi pooche ki rog kya tha To nazare jhuka ke apni Kanjoosi bata dena....

Hansa:Automatically ka matlab kya hota hai?Praful:Jab auto me koi ladki baithti hai aur uske sir pe ek bhi baal na ho to usko kehte hain,Auto-main-Takli!

Pati Patni me ladai ho gai,Pati ghar se chala gya Raat ko phone karke pucha:"Khane me kya he Patni:zaher pati:me der se aunga,tum khakar so JANA

BHIKHARI:MAAI,EK RUPIYA DE DE!! 3 DIN SE BHUKHA HU!MAI EK RUPIYE KA TU KYA KAREGA?BHIKHARI:WEIGHT KARVAUNGA, DEKHNA HAI KITNA KAM HUA hai

Passengr 2 Bus-Conducto Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rahete Ho?Conductr- 24 Ghante!P- Wo Kaise?Cond- "8 Ghante BUS Me Baki 16 Ghante BIWI KE BAS ME"

Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas..

God ne tujhe bheja to bheja, lekin behja to aisa bheja ki behje main bheja hi nahi bheja, Ye mujhe kise ne bheja, isliye maine tujhe bheja!

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Judge- Aap bahut bahadur hai, aapne us chor ko itna maara. Woman- Mujhe kya pata wo chor hai,mujhe laga mera pati thoda late ghar aaya he!!

SHADDI k PEHLE ladka:-"Darling !! tum nhi to mai nhi.Aur mai nhi to tum nhi.SHADDI k BAAD ladka:-"Bhootni! ajj ya to tu nahi ya me nahi.

1dost:Agr Me Subah Apni Car Me Niklu To Sham Tak Me Apni Aadhi Zamee B Nahin Dekh Sakta!!2ra dost:Hamare Pas B Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi!!