Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi? Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya? Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

"Maathe pe lahu,sir pe ret..Wah!Wah! Jara Gaur karna.Mathe pe lahu,sir pe ret. Kyonki PADOSAN ne phool mara. 'GAMLE SAMET."

Munna bhai: Circuit ye valentine day kaun sa din hai? Circuit: Simple bhai aajkal valentine day ‘Kiss Day’ ko kahete hai.

Judge- Aap bahut bahadur hai, aapne us chor ko itna maara. Woman- Mujhe kya pata wo chor hai,mujhe laga mera pati thoda late ghar aaya he!!

1 admi doston ki mehfil se raat late ghar gaya dosto ne pucha k wife ne kuch kaha to nahi admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi bus ye 2 dant to mai wesay bhi niklwane wala tha

Husband : Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Faayada Hua.Wife : Kaun Sa Faayada?Husband : Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gai

Son:Me School nahi jaunga.Mom:kyu?Son:Naukri krunga.Mom:4th Class padhkar kya Kaam karoge?Son:3rd Stndrd k Ladkiyo ka tution lunga.

CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko. MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

Pati Patni me ladai ho gai,Pati ghar se chala gya Raat ko phone karke pucha:"Khane me kya he Patni:zaher pati:me der se aunga,tum khakar so JANA

Boy: Darling Humare Pyaar k bare me kisi ko mat batana, Girl: Priya ko to zaroor bataungi,kehti thi kon pagal hoga jo tujhse Pyaar krega!

WIFE: kyu ji! Jab bhi me aapke pass aati hu to aap Chasma pehente ho? HUSBANd: Doctor ne kaha hai jab SAR DARD aaye to Chasma pehen lena."

Ek pagal gusse me: oye mai is duniya ko mita dunga… mita dunga… mita dunga… Dusra pagal: he he he! mai tujhe rubber hi nai dunga