Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai. Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho. Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.
Operation ke baad patient bola: "Doctor saahab, Kyaa ab main aap logo se mukt hun..?" Uttar mila: "Beta,Doctor to neeche reh gaye, Main to Chitragupt hun..!!
Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi? Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai..
Ek aadmi ki wife ka rang kaala thha, ek din vo peeli saree pehenke apne pathi se puchi, main kaisi lag rahi hoon? hus:Jaise koyla ki factory mein aag lagi ho.
MunnaBhai: Yaar yeh kutte poonch kyon hilate hain? Bole to dog tail shaking WHY? Circuit: Common sense Bhai! Ab poonch kutte ko to nahin hila sakti hai na.
Ek bhoot doosre bhoot se : Tujhe kisi se dar nahi lagta? 2sra : nahin 1st : kabhi sardar dekha hai? 2ra: sardar vardar kuch nahi hota, sab man ka vaham hai
