Man knocks at door. 10yr old boy cums wid cigret in 1 hand & beer in other. Man-Papa ghar pe hai? Boy-Saale mujhe dekh k lag raha hai ki papa ghar pe honGE.

Girl 2 Pandit-Can i Kiss aMAN ?Pandit-RAM RAM KARO!Girl-CAN I KISS A BOY?Pandit-HARE KRISHNA KARO!Girl-CAN I KISS U?Pandit-SRI GANESHKARO!

Judge- Aap bahut bahadur hai, aapne us chor ko itna maara. Woman- Mujhe kya pata wo chor hai,mujhe laga mera pati thoda late ghar aaya he!!

Patni:Mei jab gaana gaati hoon toh aap balcony mei kyo chale jate ho Pati:kahi muhalle wale aisa na samjhe mei tumara gala daba raha hoon.

Teacher: what is ur caste? Student: pehle to assi rajput si, fir pandit ho gaye, hun haige sardarji.. ab agge mummy di MARZI !!!

Passenger-Tumne mere jeb me hath kyu dala Somu-Muje Machis chahiye thi Pasen-Tum mujhse mang sakte the Somu-Me ajnabi s bat nhi karta..

A boy shying to propose a girl finally proposed in a unique way:- "kya tum mujhe apni chita ko aag lagane ka adhikar dogi??"

Ek bhoot doosre bhoot se : Tujhe kisi se dar nahi lagta? 2sra : nahin 1st : kabhi sardar dekha hai? 2ra: sardar vardar kuch nahi hota, sab man ka vaham hai

Wife:Apko pata hai mr.R apni patni ko kiss karke hi office jate hai,lekin apne kabhi ki. Husband:Chahta to mein bhi hu,lekin mr.R ki biwi nahi manegi.

CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko. MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

BHIKHARI:MAAI,EK RUPIYA DE DE!! 3 DIN SE BHUKHA HU!MAI EK RUPIYE KA TU KYA KAREGA?BHIKHARI:WEIGHT KARVAUNGA, DEKHNA HAI KITNA KAM HUA hai

GADHA 1-Yaar malik bahut marta hai.GADHA 2-Ghar chorde.GADHA 1-Nahi yaar! Wo beti se bolta rehta hai - teri shadi gadhe se kar dunga. Ye sochke ruk jata hu.