An actor is a participant in a story that needs telling. But what about his story? The one that unfolded long before the cameras rolled, the one that goes on long after the lights are dimmed. The story that ever so subtly gets intertwined with the story he tells.

And actor Irrfan Khan found a story that resonated deeply with his own in his latest film, Paan Singh Tomar. “It was an overwhelming, yet fulfilling, experience to play Paan Singh Tomar. I had a deep and somewhat unprecedented emotional connect to this film. I couldn’t figure out why for a very long time, till I actually saw the entire story unfold. Somewhere, the character was close to my father. The way he was, the way Paan Singh would deal with situations, was the same way my father would. I wish my father was alive to see me play this role,” he confides.

This role made its physical demands from him too, which he brushes aside. “Acting makes things exciting; you learn something you never did before. Sure, I never ran in my life before and for this role, I did. It had its share of emotional challenges too, but that’s the adventure,” he states.

But aren’t the emotional challenges a bit too taxing at times? Irrfan agrees. “Sometimes, things are too heavy, you want to get away from it, and you wait for the shoot to get over. In fact, my role for In Treatment brought on something like that. Such roles stay with you for a long time. You need to get away from that space. And I had to do the same. It affected my professional choices too. For instance I couldn’t do Midnight’s Children because I couldn’t afford to get into that space again.”

So, how does he unwind, as weaves in and out of those spaces? “I am fortunate because thanks to my profession I get to see places I would not normally get to see. Right now, for instance, I am travelling to the interiors of Punjab, an experience by itself. I also like forests and I like playing all kinds of games — tennis, table tennis or even throwing the ball around with my children. And I love flying kites,” he states.

And how difficult is it for the children when he isn’t around to throw the ball back? “More than the children, it is difficult for me. I miss them a lot. I don’t want to go away, but there are times when I have to. I try and get them to stay with me,” the father in him takes over, as he muses over the challenges that most working parents face. “The way I see it, they get to see places they never would otherwise, and this is also a part of education for a child.”

But he feels his profession doesn’t make parenting any more or less challenging. “Every profession has its own challenges. And I am in this profession because I like doing what I do. I am sorry for people who have to work at something because they need to keep earning the money. I pray to God that I’m never put in a situation where I have to work because of money.”

The conversation turns to masala entertainers and he is quick to point out, “I look for masala in every film. I look for entertainment everywhere… The main thing is to keep the audience engaged, transport them to another world. I hope that’s what Paan Singh Tomar does for the audience. It is a dear, dear film to me,” he muses. And that’s how films should resonate with people, he reasons. “I like films that stay with you, a taste should linger in your heart and soul,” says the man in love with his life, the actor in love with his craft.