A supposedly successful writer Tania Kapoor (Esha Deol) has accidentally discovered her parents are not her own. A washed-out hospital tag (much like Esha herself) and few paper clippings reveal that she was adopted as an orphan from Bombay Hospital. This may remotely sound like it holds promise. But don’t get too excited.

So our dear relaunched heroine, along with her seemingly idle friends Jay (Arjan Bajwa) and Cookie (Chandan), jet sets to Rajasthan, where she finds Abhay Pratap Rana (Vinod Khanna). Some royal Na Aana Is Des Laado drama and a camel race (that had full potential of being spectacularly thrilling) later, we’re told Rana is not her father at all. (How you wish he was and your ordeal would end right there). But no!

Hema Malini chooses to direct similar emotionally-charged scenes on loop, this time in Turkey. The cinematography here is breathtaking but unfortunately not enough to keep you hooked. Here again, Altaf Zardari (Rishi Kapoor) turns out to be a false alarm. To cut a long story short, Dharmendra (unintentionally hilarious) and Hema Malini also feature in the movie. Make of it whatever you wish.

Director Hema Malini has gone all out to get her daughter visibility with this self-promotional film. This attempt at so-called filmmaking ranges from strictly okay to tedious to downright boring. The first half promises a fun ride, but the length is cringe-worthy. The climax is predictable and handling of the suspense element is amateurish. In short, you just know what’s going to happen and yet they spell it out.

None of the supposedly emotional scenes move you enough to sympathise with Tania. The effort is visible but it’s not enough. Esha tries her best but I couldn’t help but thinking of Uday Chopra dreaming about his Dilbara in Dhoom. Yeah, that’s all I can remember Esha for.

Arjan is understated yet impressive, while Chandan Roy’s attempt at comedy seems like a last minute addition. The filmmakers concentrate so much on Esha, they unfairly ignore to add even a line of more depth to their characters other than Tania’s ‘friends’. It’s a delight to see Johny Lever back with his trademark exaggerated comic act. But we’re too used to subtle humour now so even that falls flat.

Humour, however, presents itself in unexpected places, like in Dharmendra’s side locks, his dialogue delivery, and his overall screen presence. Tell me o kkhuda, just why did we need a re-launch for Esha? May be the family should pack up and scoot to Turkey, re-think where they went wrong and leave it at that. Dream Girl, let your girl be. Let the audience be.