At a time when we are celebrating off-beat cinema and character actors who are outshining the A-listers, we were curious about the actress who arrived with the promise of a Smita Patil but disappeared like a tacky billboard of a B-grade flick. Smriti Mishra, whose artistic features and expressive face created much flutter in films like 'Is Raat Ki Subah Nahin' and 'Sardari Begum', may ring a bell. Her peers assume she has gone back to Benaras, others shrug off her name, choosing to call her "moody and eccentric" insinuating a mind gone off kilter and a personality unfit for the push and pull of Bollywood. When we contacted Shyam Benegal, who directed Smriti in Sardari Begum and Zubeida, he seemed aware of the perceptions. "She did meet me seven-eight months ago, and she seemed disappointed with the lack of work. Her frustration is not without reason." TOI tracked down the actress, who some say, has chosen a life of isolation. Surprisingly, she readily agreed to meet at a cafe in the suburbs. Looking a frighteningly pale version of her older self, the actress, who won male fans with her raw sensuality in films and music videos, spoke affectionately about what drew her to the industry in the first place. "I didn't have a godfather, I still don't. I come from a very conservative society in Uttar Pradesh. My father was a learned man, my mother encouraged me to pursue my dreams. I was bowled over by Benegal's Paar and Mahesh Bhatt's Janam." The actress admits she was a misfit, "I didn't have the typical mindset of a Bollywood girl. I was very naive." But curiously enough, she raises her voice enough to make heads turn in the crowded cafe, "I still remember SRK telling me once, 'Smriti, we are very attractive people. The world wants to meet us and do something with us. We need to be strong.'"

Hinting that she refused to be fodder for the casting couch, Smriti says, "Directors who cast you tend to get enamoured by you... but I am here to entertain the audience and nobody else." With hardly any film project to fall back, how does she manage to sustain herself? Smriti smiles, "I have saved from my earnings. But as and when I run out of money, my family supports me." Is she in touch with SudhirMishra, who directed her in Is Raat Ki Subah Nahin?Smriti says bitterly, "People tend to cast you only if you are in the news, not for your talent. Sudhir needs a big name which can make him a director. He needs readymade stuff, cannot work with anyone with potential." Did this plainspeak get her into trouble? Is this why there have been cruel whispers of her being a stalker? "I went through a low phase three years ago. But the rumour that I stalk people for work is hilarious. I think I am a very strong woman. Men do tend to go away from me because they don't like to have a strong woman around them," she says resolutely and then, to our bewilderment, adds: "But I also like to keep my distance... I prefer jogging around my building over working out in a gym where people stare at me all the time." Smriti insists she is both fragile and strong. "I am a human. But if you don't go insane and don't commit suicide, it's a clear sign that you have survived." Clearly, in a world where cricital appreciation can't keep the kitchen fires going, that's a lot to have achieved.