santa: ek kilo gaaye ka dhoodh dena.. banta: lekin tumhara bartan to bhut chhota hai.. santa: theek hai to fir bakri ka de do..

Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Santa to nurse-I luv u tumne mera dil chura liya hai,Nurse-Chal jhutha humne to sirf kidney churayi hai dil ko to hath bhi nahi lagaya…

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else?

Banta: yaar tum itne bade ho gaye ho aur abi tak dadi aur mooch nahi aayi. SANTA: yaar main apni maa pe gaya hu na isliye.

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

Jeeto yelled at santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you! Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!

Interviewer: Sardar ji, Where were u born? santa ji: In punjab. Interviewer: Which part ? santa ji: Which part?, Whole body born in punjab

Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!

An ASS,behind another ASS,behind that I,and behind me the whole NATION....A Sardar teaching his children the spelling of ASSASSINATION!!!

Santa Singh and wife came upon a wishing well. Santa Singh leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. Santa Singh was stunned for awhile but then smiled and said, 'It really works!'