LAST NIGHT SHE CAME TO MY BED,LAYED ON MY BODY,TOOK LIQUID FROM MY BODY AND GOT SATISFACTION .SHE WAS A MOSQUITO

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It's raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don't give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

indian- i have 4 sister n 3 brothers what abt u? American-i hav no sis or no bro but i hav 4 moms frm 1st dad n 5 dads frm my 1st mom

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

Never Explain Yourself to Anyone Because The person Who Likes U Doesnt Need It. And The Person Who Dislikes U Wont belive it....!!

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

A guy told his friend, “My father’s name is laughing and my mother’s name is smiling.” So the friend asks, “Is your name kidding?” The guy says, “That’s my brother’s name and I am joking.”